ALWAYS DEFENSIVE? READ THIS TO BREAK THAT
No one likes always being on edge. If you’re defensive, read these tips.
Do you keep finding yourself meeting someone’s kind feedback with force? What if a loved one comments something innocently, only to find you spew back some rude phrase? If either of these situations are all too familiar to you, you may be dealing with defensive reactions. While to you it may seem like they protect you, in the end, they cause more problems. So, let’s go through a few ways you can cut the reactions that hurt others (and yourself) today.
First, it’s important to breathe. When you get defensive, it’s not unrealistic that your heart rate will increase, leading you to pump out adrenaline. The result will be heightened emotions, and less control over yourself.
If you’re out, at work, or even at dinner with someone, our Lavender Essential Oil Roll-On is perfect to spread on your wrists, breathe in for a few seconds, and help instill feelings of peace/serenity. This aromatherapy tactic can help you become your level-headed self again.
ASSESS YOUR FEELINGS:
Before you jump to confrontation, think about your own feelings first. Why are you feeling this way? Is the anger from the current situation, or something deeper? More than likely the reason you’re feeling defensive comes from an experience or failure that you’re sensitive to now. Remind yourself this isn’t that situation, and approach it more openly.
DON’T USE “YOU” WORDS:
No one enjoys being told that they are x, y, or z. Avoid using “Well you…” or “You’re” statements, and instead say, “I feel” or “In my experience”. This will alleviate the feeling of attack on someone, and bring everyone’s guard down to get to a better solution.
ASK QUESTIONS, INSTEAD OF ASSUME:
When someone else does something wrong, you want to confront them to get answers, right? The same thing applies here. Whether someone is providing feedback, or a significant other is asking to talk, it means they are seeking understanding and wanting to get a solution. If you keep guarding yourself, you aren’t being fair to their needs. Ask them “Why do you feel this way?” or “How can I improve?”. Be open to their suggestions…you’d want them to be open to yours if the shoe was on the other foot, right?
Health & Happiness,
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